The last straw
by Down the gutter I go
Summary: Caryl finally get together.
1. Chapter 1

"...the waterpump's been broken since last night; we can't use the showers. A few fences need mending, there's been a big build-up of walkers around the North-tower and Judith's running out of babyf..."

"Damn woman, will you stop yapping at me. Ask someone else to do your stupid chores!"

Daryl, holding his crossbow in front of him, walked through the corridor at a high pace, as to trying to shake Carol off, but was failing. He couldn't bear being near her any longer. It cost him too much. He couldn't take any more. For too long he'd been around her, without having anything to show for it. For too long he'd been rescueing her from walkers, from herself, her demons. For too long he'd been tormenting himself longing for her. Every occasion his heart whispered of how beautiful she looked that day, his head would trample it down with a nasty sneer. Where did he find the audacity to even think he'd have a shot with this woman. Why in the world would she be any more interested in him other than as a friend? He'd been living a lie, there was nothing there between them. She was beyond his reach.

After all those years of yearning, he had gotten tired of beating himself up over her, coming to the conclusion he would have to try to forget about her. He would never grow the balls he needed to tell her how he truely felt, that much was clear as day; he retreated, back within himself. He couldn't keep decieving himself into thinking there might be a future for them. That she might see in him, what he saw in her; a strong, admirable person. How could she. He was anything but those things. He was an awkward monster; the world created him that way, so he could cope in the apocalypse. It had kept him alive, but very isolated.

Accepting her as just another member of their group, he would still look out for her, but only if he really needed to. No more runs together, if that was in any way avoidable. She wouldn't let him though, not even for a second would she leave him alone. Because eventhough, she didn't join him on runs anymore (after he came up with some lame ass excuse), she wouldn't leave his thoughts while he was away. As hard as he tried, she went with him wherever he went. During the day he thought he saw her at every corner of every deserted street. At night he'd wake up with a start, thinking, dreaming, he'd heard her voice. He had even toyed with the idea of leaving the group altogether to have some peace, but in the end he'd settled for going on the longest runs. The downfall of this plan was what he was experiencing now. Once he got back, she hounded him until she'd gotten from him what she wanted and he still could not be at peace.

Most things she wanted or needed were innocent enough. It wasn't that he didn't want to do all those things for her. The problem was, he would do them a thousand times. At his own expense. At risk of losing himself. He'd risk his life in a heartbeat if that was what she asked of him. She seemed oblivious to his retreat. She would act the same she'd always done. Sweet, caring, beautiful Carol.

Failing miserably at his "avoiding-plan", she seemed to be everywhere. Generous as she was, she helped with various chores which spread out her activities all over the prison. If he thought he saw her in the courtyard, he'd go back inside only to find her in the kitchen or in the laundryroom, making him turn on his heels again. The only safe places he could find were the mensroom and his own cell, athough the last one was questionable.

Just like today. Desperate for some alone-time, he'd left early that morning. She'd spotted his return late that night and grabbed him by the arm quite literally, to get his attention. Breaking loose from her grip he didn't let her finish and went on his way to his cell.

"Hey...?! What is up with you? Everytime you return, you go into hiding! We need you here too..."

"Just...leave me be, ask someone else!", he bit at her, closing the privacy curtain of his cell, leaving her hanging.

"Okay. Fine.", she muttered under her breath, defeated, "I will, but I'm not done with you yet."


	2. Chapter 2

Days had turned into weeks, weeks into months. He was gone a lot, apparently by his own choosing. He had pulled away from her, she could feel it. She could feel his presence slip away from her conciousness. It wouldn't leave her alone. He avoided her gaze, avoided being around her. It had been a very gradual process where he ghosted her on an almost professional level. Changes had been subtle at first, fairly obvious later on. She would question herself if he really did ignore her over dinner or was that just because they were talking to others? Did he just deliberately leave the room when she came in or was he just on his way to do something else? She wasn't one to judge quickly, but uncertainty started to creep in. She would like to think he was still her go-to-person, eventhough they hadn't had a decent conversation in months. She knew, if something was up, he would still be there for her. Right? At least, she hoped he would. His actions had made her doubt.

For a while there he seemed to be relaxed enough to let his guard down around her and showed her a side of him not many people got to see. She felt honoured when he did; she knew it had taken him a tremendous amount of effort and trust to get this far with her.

She thought she'd been clear enough with him to show her feelings were mutual, without scaring him off completely. She had been comfortable around him too. It was her way of showing she cared. When he was there for a visit and she needed a shower or a change of clothes, she wouldn't be a prude and ask him to leave, she would just be almost-naked with him being there and not care. He would do her the courtesy of looking away (and blush, that was so cute), but she wouldn't ask him to. Together they had been in enough gross situations of being covered in whatever disgusting substance, albeit their own or someone else's, to not be ashamed anymore. If the occassion arose, they'd shower together or sleep in the same bed and be at ease with eachother.

But the moment she would ask him to do something for her and he'd bitten her head off, she knew for sure, he was retreating. Not just his friendship or his companionship, but as a whole he was just fading. She'd noticed him trying to disappear into the background everytime she was around him. He went back to lurking in corridors. Brooding in his cell for hours on end not wanting to be disturbed even when there were a lot of things going on that needed his attention. It was the proverbial last straw.

"Hey...", poking her head aroudn the celldoor, she checked what his mood was like today.

"Hey...". _Surprised to see her here? Nah, not really._

"Do you have a minute...?"

"I guess...", he gave a big sigh. He had always known they would end up having a conversation like this in the end. Where he could finally put an end to all this. He was sorry about having to hurt her, but it was for the best. Self preservation.

"So, ehh, I was wondering...what's up?" _Just keep it simple and cool. You'd never know if he would ignite and explode at her. Again._

"Whatdoyamean?" _Sure, play dumb._

"Well...it's pretty obvious you're not talking to me anymore. Is something wrong? Have I done something wrong?"

"Nah...just want to spend some time alone."

"Are you all right...?"

"Hmmm. Gotta be. I'm just tired".

"Tired of what?"

"Tired of being here, I guess."

"Are you leaving?" _Oh please God, tell me he's not leaving...please..._

"Nah. Thought about it, but I can't."

"Oh, thank God. I don't want you to leave. I've noticed you've been pulling away from me. I'm still here, you know. You might have given up on me, but I'm not giving up on you. On us." _Aaand, there it was._

"I haven't given up. On you. It's just... wait...is there an "us"?" _What the hell was she talking about? Did he miss something?_

"I was hoping there was, but you've seemed to have pulled the plug on that one." _Great, more lies to fill his head with._

"How can you talk about an "us" when I can't even look you in the eye and tell you how I feel? Hell, does it matter what I feel, I've been pretty much friend-zoned..."

"Friend-zoned?! Well...you have a headstart now, might as well keep going...?", she smriked while leaning back to the wall.

"I thought we had something. But now, I think I've been alone all along..." _Oh you poor man. How you make life so much more difficult._

"You are not alone. You have all of me." _What?! WHAT!?_

"So, what is it, that YOU want?" _I WANT YOU, YOU DAMN GORGEOUS WOMAN. I WANT TO HAVE IT ALL WITH YOU!_

"I dunno, I haven't made up my mind yet..." Even now, he was too scared to go after what he wanted. Who he wanted.

His eyes pleaded to put an end to this. He was embarrased to the hilt and wanted it to stop. Arms hanging loosely next to his body, shoulders low, head hanging, on the verge of tears; he gave up. Like a little puppy rolling over to show its pink belly. It was out there, he'd said as much as he dared and all he could do was hope she could read minds.

Taking a small step forward, their bodies almost touched, she was so close. So small compared to him. Becoming increasingly intimidated by her presence, he glanced left and right looking for an escape, but couldn't find it. Darting eyes, trying to avoid her gaze. Cupping his cheeks with her hands, she gave him a tender kiss on his chapped lips. Butterflies sprung to life inside him, fluttering about in his abdomen. After what seemed like an eternity, he felt like his knees were about to give in, she let him go. Opening his eyes, he inspected her face for a reaction. Shocked to see her eyes were still half an inch from his face, she softly whispered,"I've made up your mind...".


End file.
